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Parents vs Smartphones, Phones, Freedom and Childhood episode artwork featuring Dani and Tash

Parents vs Smartphones

Phones, Freedom & Childhood

What do children really need from technology, and from childhood?

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SmartphonesSocial mediaIndependenceSchool and childhood

What we talked about

Giving a child their first phone has somehow become one of the biggest decisions of modern parenting.

Dani puts Tash in the hot seat to talk safety, secondary school, social media, peer pressure and family disagreements. Underneath it all is a bigger question: what do children really need from technology, and what do they still need from childhood?

The conversation

Key questions

  1. When should kids get a phone?

    There isn’t one right age. Start with what they actually need it for.

  2. Is the bigger issue the phone itself, or the apps and social media children can access through it?

    A phone and access to social media do not have to be the same decision.

  3. What happens when your child is the only one in their friendship group without one?

    Peer pressure is real, which is why conversations between families and schools can matter.

  4. Can delaying smartphones protect childhood, or are we simply delaying something children will eventually need to learn to navigate?

    Both worries are fair. Whenever a phone arrives, learning to use it can be gradual too.

  5. What if you’ve already given your child a smartphone and want to change how it is being used?

    You can revisit the apps, settings, timings and boundaries later.

There isn’t one perfect answer.

Some families wait. Some start with a basic phone. Some give a smartphone with limits. Some change their minds later.

The useful question is less ‘What is everyone else doing?’ and more ‘What does our child actually need right now?’

Things to try

A few ideas from our conversation. Not rules. Just things worth considering.

Bring back the landline

Let children call their friends without needing WhatsApp or social media.

More real-world independence

Walking to friends, knocking for someone, playing out and gradually gaining more freedom offline.

Make the conversation part of the decision

Talk about what the phone is for, what the boundaries are and why you are making those choices.

Separate the phone from social media

Giving a child a phone does not have to mean giving them every app at the same time.

Agree the purpose first

Is the phone for lifts, emergencies, messaging friends, independence, entertainment or social media? Those are different needs.

Practical help

Thinking about a first phone?

There’s more than one way to start. Here are a few options worth exploring.

  1. Mainly needs to call or text

    A basic phone may be enough.

  2. Needs a few more functions

    A restricted or stripped-back smartphone may be worth exploring.

  3. Already has a smartphone

    You can revisit what is installed, when it is used and what access it gives them.

Three questions to ask first

  1. What do they actually need the phone for?

    Calls, lifts and emergencies are different needs from entertainment or social media.

  2. What access needs to come with it right now?

    A phone does not have to mean every app at once.

  3. What would make us feel ready to revisit the decision?

    The first setup does not have to be permanent.

Want to compare actual options?

These are independent external resources. We haven’t tested or endorsed any particular phone.

Already given them a smartphone?

You haven’t missed the boat.

If the current setup isn’t working for your family, you can revisit it.

A simple reset can start with:

  • reviewing which apps are actually needed
  • revisiting when and where the phone is used
  • agreeing what changes now and what can be reconsidered later

iPhone

Apple Screen Time and parental controls

Apple’s built-in parental controls can help families manage apps and websites, communication, schedules, content restrictions and other device settings.

Read Apple’s guide(opens in a new tab)

Android

Google Family Link

Google Family Link can help parents manage screen time, apps, permissions and some content settings on supported Android and ChromeOS devices.

Google itself notes that filtering tools are not perfect and may not block all unwanted content.

Explore Family Link(opens in a new tab)

What if you don’t agree at home?

Sometimes the hardest part isn’t the phone. It’s getting everyone on the same page.

  • What are we each actually worried about?
  • What does our child need the phone for right now?
  • What would make us comfortable revisiting the decision later?

The bigger picture

A phone is not just a phone anymore.

Calls and texts are one decision. Social media, apps, internet access, location, independence and peer pressure are several others.

The research is still evolving, and experts don’t agree on exactly how much harm comes from smartphones themselves. That’s part of why there isn’t one single answer for every family.

Useful research, proper sources and no scary headlines for the sake of it.

Reading & perspectives

Different books, different arguments. Worth reading side by side.

Cover of The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt

Concerns about smartphones

The Anxious Generation

Jonathan Haidt

Jonathan Haidt’s book exploring the shift from a more play-based childhood towards a phone-based one.

Explore the book(opens in a new tab)
Cover of The Amazing Generation by Jonathan Haidt and Catherine Price

For children themselves

The Amazing Generation

Jonathan Haidt and Catherine Price

Illustrated by Cynthia Yuan Cheng

Written for children themselves, bringing them into the conversation about phones, social media and attention.

Explore the book(opens in a new tab)
Cover of Restoring Childhood by Peter Gray

A different perspective

Restoring Childhood

Peter Gray

A different lens on the debate. Gray argues that the loss of independence, free play and real-world autonomy deserves attention alongside concerns about screens and smartphones.

Explore the book(opens in a new tab)

Worth knowing

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No spam. No constant emails. Just the useful bits.

What’s changing?

Last checked: October 2026

UK

Planned, not yet in force

Under-16 social media rules

The UK Government plans to prevent social media services from being offered to under-16s, with implementation expected in Spring 2027.

The final regulations and implementation process are still being completed.

See what is planned(opens in a new tab)

Australia

Early findings

Early signs from Australia

Children aged 10-15, three months after the restrictions:

Account ownership
52% → 42%
account ownership
Using at least one age-restricted platform
86% → 81%
using at least one age-restricted platform in some way

Early findings only. Too soon to judge long-term impact.

Read the eSafety evaluation(opens in a new tab)

Join the conversation

What are you doing in your family?

Waiting? Already have one? Completely undecided? We’d love to hear how you’re navigating it.

Keep the conversation going

New conversations, different questions, same honest approach.

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